CIA Staff fired for hacking and robbing vending machines.

It’s often that we’re told horrifying tales of CIA black sites, torture regimes and force feeding prisoners LSD. Although something we aren’t usually told about is CIA agents going rogue. By rogue I mean the ingenious, dastardly, reprehensible plan that left several vending machines over $3,000 short.

Often in life a hard choice will befall many of us. Whether to use our powers for good or for ill. Several contractors at the CIA decided to use theirs for good, or maybe evil – If the secret agents at one of the most internationally meddling nations are at war with fast food corporations intent on making your children obese, is anyone a winner?

At any rate a group of contractors were given the boot after the Office of Inspector General caught on to their villainous scheme. According to officially declassified documents received by BuzzFeed News. 

Reports say the thefts began in Autumn 2012 and continued undetected all the way through to March 2013. The great heist involved the use of an electronic payment system called “FreedomPay.” It involved unplugging a cable that connected the vending machines to said payment system, and then using “unfunded FreedomPay cards” to purchase as much as their twisted hearts desired.

Suffice to say after awhile the OIG caught on and began installing “surveillance cameras at several key vending locations where a high occurrence of thefts were taking place,” according to the documents liberated by BuzzFeed.

The declassified files go on to state “Video footage recovered from the surveillance cameras captured numerous perpetrators engaged in the FreedomPay theft scheme, all of whom were readily identifiable as Agency contract personnel.”

Considering the CIA is meant to be the most secure institution of the United States, one that security services around the world aspire to match… It doesn’t leave me with hope considering it took them almost a year to wise on to a plot that happened right under their noses. One contracted employee was tipped as being the mastermind of the operation due to his knowledge of computer networks.

All in all these tech savvy criminals are estimated to have stolen a grand total of $3,314.40 worth of shit from the vending machines. I feel there is nothing else I can say aside from I salute you brave candy lovers. It’s not often one wakes up and decides to screw over the worlds most powerful organisations, in their own home.

Apparently the Office of the Inspector General referred these anti-heroes for prosecution, but the Department of Justice declined to press charges.

Maybe they thought it’d be kind of embarrassing if everyone found out.